So, let’s get the good news out of the way first. I’m 13 for 15 on my New Japan G1 Climax through Night 3. Both Night 1 and Night 2 were good shows with solid matches, though no Match of the Year’s yet. Some people rated Tanahashi vs. Ibushi on Night 1 at that level, but the selling Ibushi did of his leg, or lack thereof, turned me off that match some. I haven’t watched Night 3 yet, but so far I’m enjoying it. Both my mis-picks have been Kota Ibushi matches, so he may be my kyrptonite this year.
Now, onto the bad. The WWE has had a particularly painful week this far, and it started at Battleground. First things first, the Undertaker. I do not understand anyone excited about this. Taker and Lesnar had a shit match at Wrestlemania last year, Taker had a barely passable match at this year’s Mania, and I have no desire to see them have another match. As much as I love watching Brock Lesnar throw people around, I draw a line at geriatrics. Their pull apart brawl did nothing for me, and I’m not sure even Paul Heyman can make me interested.
And then there’s Cena. John Cena. John Fucking Cena. I’m mad, I’m really mad about Cena making Kevin Owens tap out. It’s taken me most the week to type about it without just slamming my face into my keyboard over and over again. Owens and Cena could have had a great rivalry. Instead, we get three matches slammed down our throat in the span of two months, giving this feud no time to breathe. Then Owens loses the rubber match by tapping out of all things. He kicked out of the Super Attitude Adjustment, which I’m not sure anyone has done before, then tapped out like a bitch. But what really makes me mad is Why. Why did this happen?
Because Cena has to be protected. Fuck everyone else, Cena must reign supreme and make everyone else look like shit. When Cena won the United States title, I assumed he would build up the title so that when he lost it, that person would look like a big deal. That was the only viable point of it, to build up a new star. Otherwise, the John Cena United States Open Challenge, where week after week Cena would come out and beat midcarders, only made Cena look better then everyone else on the roster. Now I’m not even sure if Cena loses the United States title. I would not be surprised if the belt goes back into storage, retired, with John Fucking Cena’s name emblazoned on it for all time.
Or, as I predicted after Wrestlemania, he loses the title to Roman Reigns. Yay.
The other crappy WWE story to break this week was Hulk Hogan being, like so many old white dudes turn out to be, kind of a racist jackass. To that, I only have one thing to say.